spring rains and gratitude

The spring rains return. It is wet here again. The state climatologist said that we’d have to have storms every other day for us to beat this drought. Perhaps my weekend ritual of putting my winter clothing away was all the rain dance we needed. Perhaps my intention to pull weeds and seed the lawn added to the potency of the rain dance. Or perhaps it was simply the arrival of spring break and a week of freedom from school and schedules that brought back the rain.

It is good rain that feeds the ground and the plants. I dreamed that it snowed, a deep covering of white on our lawn and thick ice on the road. I dreamed we were iced in and snowed in and I couldn’t get to any jobs. The ice and snow kept me from work, but it didn’t hurt the flowers. The ice stopped the push of my will but did not stop the beauty of earth's spring. In my dream the snow kept me still and doing the important work of art and dance. Spring and winter, stillness and joy, were happy side by side in my dream.

I sit here in my lovely tree house room and enjoy each drop of the rain. If I look carefully at the air I can see the drops falling toward the earth. A wet sheet, sometimes falling straight down, sometimes slightly blown to the side.

I feel clean this morning, as if the rain had washed my heart clean in the night. I cleared a couple disagreements with friends yesterday. I apologized for errors of speech and thus silenced a nagging voice in my head. There is still another hurdle to cross to be truly clean: a big announcement to make to some friends; a change in direction that will cause disappointment. I don’t want to cause disappointment. But I need to clean house and be true to myself and my family.

I am grateful for the spring rain that returns to bring mud and grit to my house. I am grateful for the spring rain that washes my heart clean while I dream. I am grateful for the cool air on my shoulders and that my sweaters weren't buried too deeply. I am grateful for the friend who took my boys for a night and left us in a quiet house where I can listen to the flow of traffic, the drip of rain and the song of birds. I am grateful to sit and enjoy the cherry blossoms, fir trees and the sheets of falling rain.