body history

last night my body kept waking me
its history alive in spasms

a bit of asphalt from Sepulveda Blvd (36 years ago)
deli worker knife scars on hands and forearms (30 years ago)
scar tissue in right knee (25 years ago)
scar tissue in left shoulder (14 years ago)
spiral fracture in left tibia (16 years ago)
belly and breasts stretched by childbirth (9 and 12 years ago)
a bit of neuropathy in left foot (8 years ago)
back surgery scars, titanium rods and screws (8 years ago)
knee swollen and ligaments scarred (2 years ago)

hips achy as the estrogen piles up before I bleed
stomach becoming softer and softer as perimenopause runs its course
long hikes, deep stretches, strong lungs, strong heart
good strong muscles hiding under a nice layer of adipose tissue (aka fat)
crunchy loud joints at the top of my neck
TMJ syndrome doesn’t often bother me any more
a tiny adnoma on my pituitary
long dark hair slowly graying to salt and pepper
and thinning slightly on my temples
skin becoming less resilient by the year as
wrinkles take permanent form like scars

battle cries of the flesh holding on, for how much longer?
I wonder more often what lurks inside when my body wakes me in the night
as a child I was exposed to second hand smoke
asbestos, trichloroethylene, mercury, and other toxins
I smoked for 8 years and once played with other experiments
now: good vitamins, good food, exercise, organic products, a low toxin home
can they counter this personal history, the toxins of our world
at 46 I wonder, how the rest of my body's history will be told.