why I dance

This morning there is that deep lovely ache in my flesh that reminds me that I danced for 3 hours yesterday. I entered that sacred room with about 20 others. Meshi chose music for us and we dropped into a space of relating without words. We dropped into the space of exposing our deepest desires, giving and receiving from deep in the core of muscle and bone. We were sexy and silly and joyous and sad and real. We allowed ourselves to be seen. We smiled that deep smile of recognition that arises when one soul sees the truth of another. We fell into each others arms and we graced each other with our true selves.

I dance to let the creative juice seep out of my pours. I dance to feel beautiful. I dance to stay healthy. I dance to connect with the hearts and flesh of other sacred beings. I dance to break the rules in a healthy way. I dance to watch the beauty arise in others. I dance because I have no choice anymore. It is what I do. I dance to dance.

A deep primordial need is filled in me by dancing. I feel full and satisfied and at peace. I don’t need anything else. I drive home on the freeway and pass between the Outlet Mall and the Wal-Mart. There are long lines on the freeway trying to get into those parking lots. Jay (my husband) comments that it feels like driving by the penitentiary. But this is a penitentiary that people are choosing to drive into. This is the penitentiary of false abundance. This is the penitentiary of feeding yourself with instant gratification. This is the penitentiary of stuff desire. Acquiring leaves us feeling empty afterwards. Acquiring leaves us always wanting more. Acquiring leaves us perpetually unsatisfied.

Creating fills us up. Creating satisfies.