experience this moment

i touch the keyboard and think about writing something, what?
i can feel the keys with the pads of my fingers
my feet are cold
it is very quiet on this Saturday morning
until a motorcycle rides by the house
then the tea pot clicks off and i know that the water is hot
i close my eyes, feel the keyboard, feel my breath

are these tiny pieces of direct experience? no these are words, labels,
describing the moment rather than experiencing the moment

can i find the experience under my description?
perhaps it is time for a risk, taking me full force into the present
I'll jump into the now when I leap onto your shoulder

or maybe i'll stop writing now and simply
feel my fingers on the keyboard and the cool air on my feet
notice the movement of my breath
go make myself a cup of tea

the first and last question

breath into my center and ask the very first question:
who am I?

breathe, breath, sigh, tone, vibrate from the depth of my self,
try everything and hope for an answer

the question repeats itself over and over, in every tradition the
teachers ask, the teachers purport to tell us

and the center is empty still, there is no answer in the center,
there is no there there

monkey mind fills the emptiness: to-do lists, worries, money, sex,
without the voice of desire, is anyone there?

it is empty, a great still darkness, a place to sit alone
with the great resonance, rattling and shaking me out of the center

i yearn for an empty place, for silence and stillness
i have finally found an empty place i can return to

at least for today, i am not afraid
of the emptiness, stillness, darkness

at least for today i awake and want to venture into that place
but there I am, in desiring i am pulled away from the place i desire

i awake and i desire: touch, coffee, voice, lover, shower
i awake and i desire: dust on my skin, heat, dance, sweat

are these callings from my center, or from my distraction
does it even matter, is there a difference?

good or bad, black or white, dark or light, duality strikes again
can i finally set myself free to dance naked in the center of the street?