day dreams

maybe, i'll morph this into my own daydream: the water is
clear. stunning bright blue shallow water, a lagoon surrounded by
a white coral beach, small mangrove along its edge, no people, i've
been here before, the island of Abemana. the water is very
warm and salty. water so dense we can float on the surface with almost no
effort. we have a small raft on which to nap and rest. very small
waves gently rock us all day long. we come in and out of the water,
swimming with sea turtles, tropical fish, a great manta ray. we follow these
great creatures wherever they choose to lead us, we surrender (yes)
to these wiser beings. we grant ourselves the indulgence of time, beauty,
resting, warmth, impulsiveness, freedom. i fall asleep here in this
warm place outside of time. and wake up back in my life.

my house is dirty. there is a pile of work to get too sitting
right at my feet. i have responsibilities. i turn my face from the
computer screen and my life reminds me that it is waiting.

i drift back and forth from my daydreams to my life. my life,
my work, is not boring. i start choreographing a new piece today.
it will be about women, sexuality, and aging. i have rented a rehersal space
for the next month until the studio is complete. it is my first step
into choreography. i am excited, frightened, alive.