memory

Under my skin, on my skin
anointed, I smell your sweat
your touch lingers
I cannot let it go
and I am afraid of that memory

I want to be putty
because you would never want me so
I want to surrender
and because you desire strength
I will surrender again and yet again

Your respect nags me
controls me, overwhelms me
you never ask for anything and yet
the subtlest motion is ecstasy
when we forget to move at all

Words became the distraction
but I still can’t get your smell out of my hair
I shake my head and your breath returns
embedded in my bones, my skin, my sinew
I have become your memory